The Weekly Swamp Volume 4, Issue Number 1

A wise man once said; "Nothing too good or too bad lasts for too long".

Well... We beg to differ.

The Swamp League enters an 8th season full of action, passion, name changes and curses!

Too good.

The Weekly Swamp has now returned as well...

Too bad.

Time it takes to get through the opening of TWS?

Too long.

That's right sports fans! After a very long awaited off-season, we have officially returned to pollute your eyeballs with all The Swamp League gossip and news you would ever need or want.

All of Week 1's action.

A team looking to turn things around in 2009 made some hairstory, oops history and we finally reveal it to you... We promise its extremely anti-climactic!

Two teams are awarded the years first Hurricane and Green & Gold Award!

All this and so much less in the years first issue of....

THE WEEKLY SWAMP

Week 1

Our first slobber-knocker of the week was between The Blue Crew and Dough Boyz. After losing in the semifinals to the eventual 2008 champ, The Blue Crew are looking forward to moving on and ascending to the next plane, while Dough Boyz attempt to reclaim the glory days of 2003.

With Tony Romo, Thomas Jones and The Cadillac dominating, Dough Boyz were cooked as The Blue Crew were anything but the color, celebrating a great start to 2009.

The Blue Crew (1-0-0)

Dough Boyz (0-1-0)

Next we move to one of our more colorful characters of the league, Coach Showtime's Name Change Fiesta aka R.I.P. Dalton! aka Patrick Chewing. Confusing right? Well we have all the inside info and we're still dumbstruck, but basically what we put together is this; Coach Showtime runs the team known in Week 1 as Patrick Chewing. Let's just begin there.

Showing off why he's the #1 pick in so many drafts, Adrian "All Day" Peterson snagged 27 fantasy points to lift Patrick Chewing past G Knights for the W.

From the top of the pile to the bottom of the heap, G Knights have a little work to do to get back to their usual selves and The Name Change Kid, Coach Showtime is hoping All Day turns into All Season.

Patrick Chewing (1-0-0)

G Knights (0-1-0)

A Note From The Editor-In-Chief;

Patrick Chewing have changed their name to R.I.P. Dalton! in remembrance of the late, great Patrick Swayze. One actor that has not only influenced the entertainment industry, but also surfing/bank-robbing culture, created new bouncing techniques and dance moves and finally conquered homemade pottery. He will be greatly missed.

Patrick Swayze

1952 - 2009

On to more cheerful news.... Unless you're The New Kings....

Now we weren't all that great but weren't all that terrible either when it came to our pre-season rankings, but The New Kings didn't really live up to expectations while on the other side of the ball a familiar sight has began to take hold again.

Hairs Hooligans, after keeping Brady, Moss, and Barber, took Steve Slaton as their first pick and first pick overall after keepers. -1 point. What some would call a detriment to the team.

How about those first three names? There's hairstory in there...

Hairs Hooligans are the first team to keep a player that has been listed on the IR since game 2 all through a season to be kept and played the following year. After Tom Brady went down in Week 1 of the 2008 season a lot talk began about whether or not Coach Doc Zoidberg and Owner Hollywood Hair would keep a spot open for the anchor of the Hooligans.

Inside the office there was no discussion. And we should know. We went down to Hollywood Blvd., where ten blocks of glitz and glamour have been transformed into the Hooligans' practice field, to speak with both coach and owner regarding the new season.

"We're getting back to basics. Focusing on the Brady to Moss effect and allowing for Barber and company to do what they do."

378 yards, 2 TDs, 1 Int. for Brady and 141 of those yards to Moss. Barber; 79 yards and 1 TD.

Even though they won the game by 16, critics still pointed out the fact that they left Cooley and Sproles on the bench.

"With all the injury concerns and our defense (NYG DEF.) were looking too good to put Cooley up against and he proved us wrong. We sat down with him and chatted for a little bit and he's guaranteed to start this week. As far as Sproles is concerned, he's a game time decision."

When we asked what the key to a Hooligans 180 was, Owner Hollywood Hair laughed and replied, "We're a roller-coaster. We go up and down every year. And we hit a hard drop last season but there's nowhere to go besides up and with a few key players back at 100%, we're a force to be reckoned with!"

That still remains to be seen.

Hairs Hooligans (1-0-0)

The New Kings (0-1-0)

The team with the most to prove in The Swamp League would have to be BigBody Ballers... In their 8th season and still without a championship.

They want it bad too.

But they may have to do it without LT... As of press time, LaDainian Tomlinson is listed as out for Sundays game against Baltimore. Could this spell trouble for BBB? Maybe... But before we get to that let's take a look at their first game of the year. No big deal right? It's only against the DEFENDING 2008 CHAMPION DOLPHINS!!!

And even with Fitzgerald, Colston, DeAngelo, and DeSean putting up solid numbers, the champions weren't enough to stifle the explosiveness of BigBody Ballers putting up 78 points and grabbing that all important W against the best of 08!

Could this be Coach RTD aka Coach BigBody aka Coach RTD's year?

Tune in next and every week to find out!

BigBody Ballers (1-0-0)

Dolphins (0-1-0)

And now we bring you to 4th & Goal... Our closest game of the week!

Selfs Soldiers were not happy about being ranked tenth in our pre-season poll. And they showed us why by putting up 80 points, including a 29 point score from Philly's D! Enough to beat every other team in the league except one... Their opponents; Gators.

Drew Brees drew up 41 of the Gators' 85 points and the W as The Commish has established himself the #1 so far in the 2009 season.

Gators (1-0-0)

Selfs Soldiers (0-1-0)

Here are the 2009 Season Standings as of the end of Week 1;

1. Gators

2. The Blue Crew

3. BigBody Ballers

4. Hairs Hooligans

5. R.I.P. Dalton!

6. Selfs Soldiers

7. Dolphins

8. The New Kings

9. Dough Boyz

10. G Knights

Hey we were right on two spots! Hairs Hooligans at 4th and Dough Boyz at 9th. So all in all... a pretty lousy job at predicting the beginning of the season... You're welcome!

Our first Green and Gold Award (Award for most points earned this week) goes to Gators for their impressive 85 point opening! Congrats!

Our first Hurricane Award (Team with the most heart this week) goes to their opponents this week, Selfs Soldiers for turning it around and being only six points away from 1st place in The Swamp League! Congrats!

Look for all the new goodies posted up on our website:

www.theweeklyswamp.blogspot.com

And don't forget to follow us on Twitter:

www.twitter.com/theweeklyswamp

@TheWeeklySwamp

IN NEXT WEEKS ISSUE....

We sit down with the 2008 Champions; Dolphins.

Curse rumors are starting to fly....

And a new movement that's sweeping through the league and maybe even you're own team...

All this and yup you guessed it... so much less in next weeks issue of....

THE WEEKLY SWAMP

Another year of this "TWS" trash? Ugh.