The Weekly Swamp Volume 4, Issue Number 2

"Unreal" - The New Kings 7 TEAMS EVEN UP 1 TEAM IS LEFT UNDEFEATED AS THE NEW #1 AND TWO TEAMS GO THE DISTANCE IN OUR CLOSEST 4TH AND GOAL YET WE ALSO HAVE A MONEY MOVEMENT SWEEPING THE LEAGUE… ARE YOU ON BOARD THE MONEY TRAIN? AND WE'LL GO ALL THE WAY DOWN TO JOE ROBBIE (YEA, THAT’S RIGHT…. JOE ROBBIE) STADIUM FOR A ONE ON ONE WITH THE GREAT ONE… COACH NESTO TALKS TO US ABOUT WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHP, TRADE WOES, AND HIS KEYS TO THE BEGINNING OF A DYNASTY…. ALL THIS AND SO MUCH LESS IN THIS WEEKS ISSUE OF…. THE WEEKLY SWAMP WEEK 2 “It’s a great and distinct feeling and honor to have achieved the league championship in such a short time of membership. I can say that the taste of championship glory has left me hungry for more! Repeat!” Coach Nesto is excited. And for good reason. After only two seasons he has captured what we all hold so near and dear to our hearts… A Swamp League Championship Trophy. But losing the first game of the year is not the start the Dolphins were looking for. “We just have to stay focused and maintain our intense work ethics. I know it’s cliché but we really gotta take it week by week and keep our eyes on the big picture! And you really gotta be ready to play hard every week no matter who you’re playing. I mean even if you’re playing the Selfs (Soldiers) or Showtimers (currently Grimlock) you really still gotta be ready because this is the NFL and strange things do happen.” Now in Week 2, in a Swamp League Championship 08 rematch, the Dolphins went up against the number one rated Gators. Did The Commish exact his revenge? We asked Coach Nesto if he had a special strategy in regards to dealing with the Gators. “Ya actually it’s the same game-plan strategy I used in the championship game. It’s called blow em’ out of the water!” Did the Dolphins made good on these comments? Well, if you put money on them throwing up a staggering 117 points and defeating the Gators by 57 points, call your bookie and get paid! With the help of Chris Johnson (RB/Ten) exploding for 31 points, Dolphins seem to have The Commish’s number… Will these two meet up again in the playoffs, or maybe even the Championship? We also asked if this year was a fluke or if the Dolphins are a true top contender… “Na man. The Dolphins are the real deal and they’re here to stay! So all you critics and haters out there can watch as I create a dynasty!” Gators (1-1-0) Dolphins (1-1-0) 3-10-0 It’s an ugly stat that Hairs Hooligans wish they could erase. But that is indeed their 2008 final record. They stated in the off-season that a turnaround was in order and a 2-0-0 start would certainly spark that notion, but could they pull off the upset over the heavily favored BigBody Ballers; the team whose mission is to bring home their first ever Swamp League Championship. It was a close one sports fans, but those tricky Hooligans pulled out the smoke and mirrors, taking home the W for Coach Doc. Zoidberg and Owner Hollywood Hair. “We’re on our way Commish. We’re on our way” said Hollywood Hair, referring to the next game against Gators. The only team left undefeated, Hairs Hooligans are our new #1 in the Swamp League… But will it last? Hairs Hooligans (2-0-0) BigBody Ballers (1-1-0) In a must win situation against the high powered offense of The Blue Crew, G Knights were in a tough one yet again. It came down to one helluva game Monday night, as Ronnie Brown (RB/Mia) and Peyton Manning (QB/Ind) took G Knights all the way to a W, winning the game by 18 points and evening up to 1-1-0. With the Romo (QB/Dal) to Owens (WR/Buf) connection now severed, can The Blue Crew find the right mix to keep his winning ways afloat? Will the G Knights return to the days of old and once again take their place on top of the heap? G Knights (1-1-0) The Blue Crew (1-1-0) Showtimers, Fooligans, Selfs Shits, R.I.P. Dalton!, Patrick Chewing and now Grimlock. According to our extremely thorough and accurate research (Wikipedia.org) Grimlock is the most fearsome and powerful member of the Dinobots. Grimlock can be cold, merciless and contemptuous of those he considers beneath him, such as human beings, and at times, even Autobot leader Optimus Prime himself, who Grimlock would gladly supplant as Autobot leader if he were able to, giving him a superiority complex as indicated by his Generation 1 tech specs. But is being a bad ass Dinobot enough to defeat the super trooper Selfs Soldiers? Even though it was close, Selfs Soldiers have yet again proven to us that number ten pre-season ranking is poppycock as they defeat the mighty Grimlock by 12 points, allowing both teams to reach .500 on the season. With a much awaited rivalry game several weeks away, Selfs Soldiers are not concerning themselves with such teams as Hairs Hooligans… “Those ‘fooligans’ better start working out. Scoring 70 points is not going to do it against these Soldiers!” Selfs Soldiers (1-1-0) Grimlock (1-1-0) We have a movement in the league. A monetary movement…. There have been rumblings regarding the possibility of a $25 donation towards a prize pot for the end of the year. This may make things a little more interesting, on the other hand some would say this may sully the league with money on the line. Our TWS Mathematicians worked all week on this one.... So far it would most likely break down to this; With every team posting up $25, we’re looking a total prize pot of $250. 1st place - $150 2nd place - $75 3rd place - $25 “I’m down for league $ pot. I think it'll make things a little more interesting. Let’s do it.” – Coach Nesto of the Dolphins. “I propose that if I beat Hairs Hooligans they have to leave the league forever” – Coach Kingsley Hibbert of The New Kings “I’m in as long as The New Kings change their name to The New Dumpkids” – Coach Doc. Zoidberg and Owner Hollywood Hair. 2 for yes, 1 for an expulsion of Hairs Hooligans… What do you think? Now we move on to one of the greatest games The Swamp League has ever seen. It’s this weeks…. 4th & Goal “We’re going to the playoffs. Period.” That’s the statement given to us, TWS, prior to the beginning of the 2009 Swamp League Season by The New Kings. Coming off a devastating loss to Hairs Hooligans just a week ago, The New Kings are looking for a spark. A jumpstart. A catalyst that will take them to yet another Championship, something they have been all too far away from in recent years. Facing off against the always dangerous Dough Boyz, The New Kings went all out and left it all on the table. Dough Boyz came up just one point shy of a tie losing to The New Kings 49-48. As The New Kings and Coach Kingsley Hibbert went to bed on Wednesday night, they rested easy knowing they had won the game 49-48. Then on the morning of Thursday, September 24th, 2009, a miracle happened. Dough Boyz were awarded a sack earned by the Pittsburgh Defense that was not awarded at game time. This gave them one very crucial point and created the most bizarre tie in Swamp League history. Point corrections are a constant in the fantasy football world, but this one was a dagger in the back of The New Kings. “Unreal” were the only words Coach Kingsley could use to describe the rollercoaster this weeks drama has brought to his team. Both teams remain without a win; will they both get their first in Week 3? The New Kings (0-1-1) Dough Boyz (0-1-1) 2009 Week 2 Standings 1. Hairs Hooligans 2. Dolphins 3. Selfs Soldiers 4. Grimlock 5. Gators 6. The Blue Crew 7. BigBody Ballers 8. G Knights 9. The New Kings 10. Dough Boyz Our Week 3 Matchups Hairs Hooligans vs. Gators G Knights vs. The New Kings Grimlock vs. The Blue Crew BigBody Ballers vs. Dough Boyz Dolphins vs. Selfs Soldiers AWARDS This weeks Green And Gold Award goes to...... Dolphins with a huge week, 117 points! Congrats! This weeks Hurricane Award goes to..... Dough Boyz and The New Kings for battling it out and giving all of us one of the best slobberknockers of all time! Congrats! New rankings, New poll and another reason to hate the internet.... It's our website; www.TheWeeklySwamp.blogspot.com And follow us on Twitter; www.twitter.com/theweeklyswamp @TheWeeklySwamp Is it possible to ban a newsletter?